If one more person asks me one more time if I’ve tried a night guard to solve my TMJD I will chop off his head
actually I’ll probably just leave and go cry and eat pancakes at home alone
But seriously people, please stop thinking you have this brilliant solution to my problem when in fact your solution has absolutely no effect on my problem (facial muscles =/= teeth, in case this is news). I’m really getting frustrated, and I’d like if you would respect/believe that I know my situation better than you do.
So if I’m going out its nice to give myself 45min to breathe and plan and know where I’m going and psych myself up for human interaction
But sometimes plans change last minute and I want to cry because all that work disappears no matter how small a change and I’m left with the mountain of anxiety on my chest
And I know its dumb but I wish it wasn’t so hard to explain to people who just wanted to hang out and have a good time
I’m just not all together like they are
Things I love:
Dancing with unjudging people
Dancing to P!nk
Holding onto a guy’s arm so I don’t trip walking in heels on slippery sidewalks
Staying in the home of 4 friends I love mountainfuls
Coffee
Weddings
The song River dances to used as a recessional
Dresses
Things I don’t love:
Feelings of helplessness.
I would give up popcorn for Seze. He’s my favorite of my favorite things.
(Thankfully I see no situation in which my forgoing popcorn would benefit him. I should probably get rid of the rubber duck my little cousin wedged into his underwater castle, though.)
Ocean Avenue - 268
The Suffering - 258
Absolutely (Story of a Girl) - 225
Grey Street - 153
Sing - 152
…
I think Ocean Avenue is on every single one of my playlists that wasn’t created for sleeping purposes. Now that I think of it, though, The Suffering actually is on one of my sleep playlists. Not sure if that’s ever worked out for me but what the hell.
I am so full of fragments and colors and skies and brushstrokes and I will never be able to get it all out no matter how many nights I spend at this table.
But being able to choose which emotions to draw out of me each night is the most beautiful healing thing I never thought possible it feels like I’m sobbing in relief.
I can’t describe this well enough; back to painting it out.
Sitting at work and all you have to do is check a couple different places to find numbers to add together properly
But someone is dead and you couldn’t do anything about it and suddenly you can’t fathom that his thoughts aren’t being thought anymore
And these numbers can count themselves I don’t want to be tied here I need to run
